I' am V.S

The name is Sadanandan…Praveen Sadanandan….Praveen Velayudhan Sadanandan.
Praveen is so common name that it is difficult to identify which part of India it is from. And usually it would happen that in a group there would be many Praveen’s but only one v s. So this initial of mine has come to my rescue in identity crisis. ‘kaun praveen? ..V S ?’ One thing I noticed is that in maharashtra many have this name spelt as pravin..so it was not surprising when some of my mumbaikar n pune frnds addressed me as pravin.


The expansion of Velayudhan (my grand fathers name) was sometimes confusing to me in my school days. And I never bothered to know  the exact spelling as it was not used in my name ..as initials of v.s was more than sufficient..and since I had to address my grandfather as ‘appuppa’ and not by his name, I had no idea about the correct spelling. 
Some 7 years back when I was in my final semester of B.E, I got my full name made it official while filling my passport details, as I was supposed to expand my initials for the first time. So the full name remained in my passport from then onwards. The after effect of this expansion was I had to embrace a change in me being addressed officially as sadanandan or velayudhan as well. My PAN card shows V and S expanded and because of space issue of this big name, Praveen was removed. I now recollect that my name officially started showing less presence of Praveen when I was being called for interviews or in some official calls and some ad marketing calls where I was either Sadanandan or Velayudhan or Praveen to some but have never bothered to correct them. 


My mail id in techm was praveens @ techmahindra, so nobody knew my full name.
Even though my infosys mail id is Praveen_sadanandan, I still have Praveen v s as display name..why because I still like it this way and my old frnds can still recognize me when my mail reaches them as Praveen v.s.
So good or bad, among the three parts of my name.. dad’s and grandfather’s name also gets dragged into wherever its being mentioned. Baap ke saath saath, baap ke baap ka naam bhi roshan(or khaarab) karega :) (please note: i have huge respect to my grand dad and his name..sounds so respectful and strong natured..i like that :))


Naam se yaad aaya..A famous dialogue from one of my favourite Amol palekar starrer movie Golmaal.
Amol palekar (character name as Lucky): "Buddha ghar pe hai?
Utpal Dutt (doing gardening with character name as Bhawani): "Aap ko kaise pata ki woh buddhe hain?
Lucky(intentionally adressing Bhawani as maali): "Arrey maali… jiska naam Bhawani Shankar ho, woh to paida hote hi buddha ho gaya” :)

Post engagement days...

Quite a number of changes has happened in my life from my last post and yet i feel life is still the same for me. And am happy to tell you that, this time all good things are coming my way and and I have never been so content and happy in my life. May be these are the best days of my life... i have had quite a number of best days in the past as well..each one being different..but this one is quite big i.e marriage. :)
So here i write a small thought which can be looked upon as a positive one. No matter how many problems we deal with on a frequent basis or how much satisfied or content we would be at certain things...things are never the same each passing day..and most of us(please note: people with whom i interact quite frequently are most of us for me) are well tuned to not loose hopes and  keep trying to look ahead and without much noise we end up living another day and accept the way things are and get ready for a new day.
As of now things are going good, fine and nice..these are the post engagement days for me, have gone past my 29th birthday couple of days back...and am getting myself prepared to face hectic work schedules in coming few days..and best thing is i have something to look forward to in the form of my marriage in September. :)

HANG ON OR LET GO

THIS IS FICTION: 

DESCRIPTION: THOUGHT PROCESS OF A MIND...

Hanging on from the wall of the terrace, am going through an odd feeling of fear and excitement at the same time. My hands are numb and my shoulders are being tested for its strength of holding my plump body of 50 kg, this heavy body of mine has survived till now for almost 17 years and no, before you could conclude, let me be clear that am not at all upset about the way I look or about the weight I carry of myself. 

So what am I thinking right now? Well, the answer to this question can be another question “why am I doing this to myself”? Am not depressed, Am not upset, Am not that sad as well. Nothing tragic has happened that I have to hang on like this from the 2^nd floor of this beautiful apartment that I can fall anytime to an end of this so called life or atleast with some injuries form where it will be difficult to recover. Yeah, I might be crazy. All I know is I Am doing this just for the thrill of it. I can feel my heart beat thumping so loud inside, I can feel the adrenaline rush which is shooting up in my head as if it might explode anytime. For a moment I can go through all small, big, happy, sad, stupid, brave, shameful, ugly, shocking, surprising and many more incidents of  my life till now, and this moment is just for a fraction of a second, and this fraction of a second is lasting for a long long time. But the sweat in my hands is playing a spoilsport to cut it short. It’s getting so wet, that the slip of my hands to a downfall would be the last thing which may get registered in my conscious mind. Not trying to hold on..not trying to let this moment vanish..not looking down... as I can now see my hands.... giving up to the sweat and gravity..but i somehow still manage to get back and hold on..and am still wondering.. should i hang on or let go...